The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
