Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
