PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
