woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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