we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
