he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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