Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
