He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
