Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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