omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
