If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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