You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
