he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
