Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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