i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
