Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
