so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
