Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
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