I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
