Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
