dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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