Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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