I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
