my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
