I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
