using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
