I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
