We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
either way he was missing a nipple.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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