After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize