I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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