you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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