thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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