I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
