me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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