I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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