I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My ass is underappreciated
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
