and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
