Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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