You're my little dorito
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
