so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
