It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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