Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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