Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
