once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
