You can't special order awesome
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
