i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize