My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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