So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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