Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
