butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
