Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Also, beer. Big fan.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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