I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
then he tried to convert me to islam
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
