Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
