He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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