No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
