her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
