I am puke
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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