it glows. i had to have it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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