Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize