My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize