I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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