ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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