I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
You're my little dorito
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize