He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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