I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
