Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
