another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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